Rarely, however, do you hear someone say, “Whoever I date has to be completely and utterly obsessed with me. I want them to be my #1 fan!”

Think about it, we’ve all been through it or at least watched it happen. You go out on a first date. There’s some real chemistry. You make out.

Suddenly you’re getting dozens of texts a day… nay, an hour! Your voicemail is full to capacity with messages from your new love interest wondering why you haven’t responded to every text, expressing concern about your relationship. They want to have plans every night, and be at your side every available minute.

Suddenly that ‘relationship’ you’d been yearning for for so long doesn’t seem so great anymore.

People don’t want to date a fan, they want to date someone they consider to be their equal.

Obsession isn’t love.

Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who refuses to have their own opinion? They agree with you on everything you say from politics and religion to celebrity gossip and even what to eat for dinner…. because, heaven forbid you disagree on something!

It’s exhausting.

Yet all too often, we fall into that trap. We fail express our true ideals and beliefs to the dreamy eyes across the table for fear of ruining a date. Then, 3 days… or sometimes 3 years down the road, we wonder why that happened to the love. The truth is, you’ve duped yourself into believing a lie. It was never there.

If the thing you like most about your significant other is that they like you, you might want to think twice about the relationship. Being loved by someone for exactly who you are is far more satisfying than just being in love with being in love.

So, when things start going well after 1 (or a few) dates, remember, be yourself and don’t obsess… because nobody wants to fall in love with a fan. (Except for the incredibly vain are self absorbed, and you’re not one of those, right?)