At first, you are enthusiastic about riding the fast dangerous ones, but after getting tired of waiting in line behind a bunch of assholes, everyone just ends up with the fatties in the lazy river.
Thanks to everyone who shared this bit of genius!
My roommate was giving some sound advice to another roommate of ours as I laid in bed eavesdropping on their conversation. (Don’t hate, you know you have done it before.) It was a worthy eavesdrop, for I heard a few things that, well, made a lot of sense!
Without his consent, for I doubt he will ever read this, and my cunning expertise in changing his name to Bob, I will recount his words.
Bob said he has been dating a girl halfheartedly for the past couple years. Since the girl was never quite fully over her ex, and she could never fully commit either. This unhealthy back and forth commitment, underlined with genuine concern for the other led them to confused hearts and an even more confusing relationship.
Facebook coined this term for us: “It’s complicated.” And I would confidently place my bets that most of us know exactly what they are going through. You know…being in a relationship where you or the other person isn’t giving it their all for whatever reason.
Bob went on to say how he has changed his ways and is moving forward 110% in pursuit of this woman…and things are going rather well. Let’s hope they stay that way!
MORAL OF THE STORY: If we all squander in halfhearted relationships we won’t ever progress. If you are too scared or selfish to give someone a real chance at love, then you shouldn’t carry on or drag out the relationship. It isn’t fair to either of you.
What girl doesn’t want to get swept off her feet? What guy doesn’t want the girl he sweeps up to be loving and caring and into him and no other? We all want a real, meaningful and amazing relationship with someone, don’t we? I submit that we do! That’s why you are reading this! So when you find someone that has potential…give them a chance! I real chance! Not an “I will put him on the back burner just in case something better comes around” chance.
“The more you invest, the bigger the reward!” Bob said. And I have also said many times, that there are so many incredible things we can to do with our partners, including sweet date ideas, but we hold them off until we know that the person is worth it. I now say…no more holding back.
I am not saying it needs to be boyfriend/girlfriend right off the bat, or that you need to DTR (hmm, DTR, I think I will write about that in the future) after 3 dates. Just relax, enjoy the company and actually give “courting” a chance. I think this could very well be a quicker road to love…I mean; it seems to be working out for Bob…finally.
Sometimes I think society assumes that since you’re single, you’re pathetic and desperate. And that, dear readers, is how the blind date got invented.
You know the drill. The moment your parents, roommates, coworkers, religious representatives or distant relatives find out you’re not dating someone, it becomes their personal mission in life to set you up with some socially awkward mouth breather of the opposite gender that has “so much in common with you”… like, um, the fact that they are also single.
For many singles, it’s hard to say no to a blind date because they don’t want to offend, appear shallow or eliminate any potential relationship possibilities. Blind dates are, however, rarely successful, and after a few crappy ones, it’s easy to wonder why you ever said yes.
Dearly beloved single friends, grieve no longer! At last, I have invented a solution to the stresses associated with the infamous blind date.
Never again should you respond to the offer of a blind date with a simple yes or no. It’s time to bust out the conditional phraseology, mo fo! Start refusing to go on a blind date unless the person offering to set you up is willing to pay for the date. If this tactic makes you feel guilty about taking money from a friend or family member, you can always offer to reimburse them if the date is a hit… although I’d discourage it.
The point I’m driving at is that the people setting us up need to have something at stake here!
Think about it, the people who are arranging these all-too-often awkwardly unromantic meetups have nothing to lose. If the date stinks, they haven’t wasted their time, money or patience. They can still be friends with both parties involved. Their life continues uninterrupted, and they are allowed to continue facilitating crappy dates for their lonely friends.
You, on the other hand, end up feeling even more discouraged and lonely as you check your Facebook profile in five minute increments with the hope that some new potential mate has sent you a message or commented on your new status.
This should not be happening. You deserve to be set up with an all-star, and if you ask me, it’s time for our friends to pony up. People start thinking twice about setting you up when they have something riding on the outcome. They don’t want to waste money pairing you with some hygienically challenged ignoramus. If they are willing to fork up the cash for the date, it says that they have thought this through more than once.
Blind dates don’t have to be terrible. Do what you can to make sure they’re not, especially if it means you aren’t paying.
Thanks to the UVU Review for publishing the first edition of this article!
My friend Julia just wrote an amazing song. It’s all about that dating disease that never seems to go away… you know, Just Friends-itis.
Just when you think things are going your way, and you’re breaching the friend gap, you hear the familiar phrase, “We’re just friends…”
It sucks… and the suckiness is perfectly expressed in the following song which you can and should listen to.
It’s especially interesting to me to hear how a girl feels about the just friends issue. It’s interesting to realize that these creatures otherwise known as women have feelings and emotions…, click and have a listen… I promise you’ll enjoy it.
If you like the tune and want to put it up on your site, please leave a comment on this post and link back to Julia’s blog.
“Dating is like the game Yahtzee. You roll the dice and have a 1 in 6 chance of getting someone attractive, a 1 in 6 chance of getting someone funny, a 1 in 6 chance of getting someone smart, a 1 in 6 chance of getting someone hard-working, a 1 in 6 chance of getting someone who really cares, and a 1 in 6 chance of getting someone who loves you back…and then you have a 1 in 46656 chance of getting someone with all of them.”
Thanks to my little bro for finding the best dating quote I’ve ever seen.
I talk with many singles (old and young) that vent to me about not having a significant other in their lives, or why no one asks them out etc. One of the biggest reasons people can’t commit is because they have “Bigger and Better Syndrome.”
What is BBS? It’s simple. You meet a girl and sparks fly! (Now, please, if you are a woman, interchange the word “girl” for “guy.” But for the sake of simplicity…I will speak from the guy’s point of view. You understand, right?) Anyway, you start dating and everything is going great. You are out on the town and you see a woman that at that time seems either more attractive/funnier/smarter or some other characteristic that your current girlfriend may not posses as much…or at least you forgot they do because you aren’t readily remembering their qualities because you are with them every day.
The sad and devastating syndrome has begun. You think to yourself. My girl is amazing at a, b and c, but this other person seems to be more amazing at C. I should be able to get someone that is amazing at C like this girl. Little acknowledging that your partner is already amazing at A and B, and the person you are comparing them probably either sucks at A or B, but may only be having and “on” night and possessing exceptional C skills, but on the marrow…might not have them as much. AH! This is a mess already.
You compare what seems to be someone’s best qualities to your girlfriends not as great qualities, and leave them for the search of something bigger or better. The sad note is when or if you find someone else; you will do the same exact thing. This nasty plague will ruin your dating career and leave you an old lonely person sulking in your sorrows while looking to your past wishing you never left your amazing girlfriend.
I am in no way saying you should settle. I mean, I battle with the thought of being too picky myself. What I do urge, however, is that when you are with someone great, and you look at others and wish those qualities in your significant other, you will be unhappy and will never find anyone that you think is “good enough.” The reality is…you are probably the one that isn’t good enough. Date someone and look for their qualities, build them up! BUT DO NOT COMPARE THEM TO EVERY BREATHING THING THAT PASSES BY. It is not healthy!
If you expect to find the PERFECT person with every amazing characteristic, it won’t happen. You will eventually find someone perfect for you…but they won’t be perfect, and until you realize this and stop comparing…you won’t ever be satisfied. But let me divulge a little secret. When you truly love someone, their faults become bearable if not cute qualities you find enjoyable.
Here is the underlying message. We are all unique. We all posses certain qualities and some faults. It is now your job to find the more important qualities you want in a spouse, and their faults you will be willing to forgive them of. But don’t find someone amazing and then stupidly whisk them away at their first sign of weakness. For those interested and whom actually made it to this point in the post, I wrote a poem that relates to this. To read it, click here.
Apparently, the graphic found below is more accurate than you’d think.
If you’re wondering how she feels about you, maybe you should pay more attention to how she talks to you.
Thanks to HeyAmberRae for finding this and passing it on!
Drama vs. Sense of Humor
Would they love you, or would they hate you? Why? It’s a worthy question to ponder.
