Expectations Inevitably Lead to Disappointment
Have you noticed that the events in life that get the biggest hype are often the ones that provide us with the biggest let down?
For example, there’s often a lot of excitement generated around birthdays and holidays (or movie premiers). We plan out the perfect day in our heads. It includes everything from getting a raise at work (or even better, a day off from work) to meaningful gifts from close friends and family to a phone call from your favorite celebrity crush. We imagine ourselves slow dancing late into the night in the middle of the living room floor with that special someone wrapped in our arms. The evening ends with that perfect kiss… you know, the one that makes your stomach do the Macarena.
When the day is over, however, you tend to look back with the painful realization that nothing really panned out as you planned it in your head. What was supposed to be so wonderful about this day again?
Your expectations have set you up perfectly for disappointment.
The same principle applies for dating.
I’ve found that the more pumped up I get for a date – especially a date with someone I’m interested in – the more likely I am to come home with a deep sense of disappointment. This has always bugged me, and I don’t think it’s my fault… or your fault.
Hollywood has ruined romance for us. We see relationships unfold on the big screen with a whirlwind of passion and emotions. In less than an hour and a half there is a serendipitous meeting of boy and girl, a playful courtship, a dramatic breakup followed up with an over-the-top-risk-it-all confession of true and absolute love. The boy pulls the girl in for a kiss. Her foot pops. They live happily ever after… in a freakin’ hour and a half.
For some reason, sometimes we expect the same amount of drama, tension, chemistry and outcome in an hour and a half date. I don’t think we should get rid of expectations. But I DO think we should be realistic about them.
Keep your high standards for the people you date, but stop setting such high expectations for the events you experience with them. Just enjoy yourself. Make each moment count.
