Entitlement is Unattractive

The most entitled man in the world.It only took me like 2 weeks of writing this blog to get fired up enough to write up a rant on what is essentially my ultimate pet peeve.

Nothing will destroy a relationship faster than entitlement. It’s a cancer… an emotional cancer that eats away at the greatest thing the world has to offer.

Love.

Just thinking about it makes me want to punch a kitten! (I told you it was a pet peeve.)

The demon of entitlement rears its ugly head in relationships in many different ways…

Absence of Gratitude

Our culture has created a process for propagating relationships. This basics of the system are as follows:

  • Boy asks girl on date.
  • Boy takes girl on date.
  • Repeat

This process continues until one party becomes disinterested or the happy couple decides to get married.

Since this cultural pattern is so common, it’s easy for women to become accustomed to all of the attention and free food from douche bag guys who just want to get in their pants. This is where the skank-hoe originated.  After enough male attention, some women forget their manners and develop an attitude of entitlement. They are drafted as crew members on the Skank-hoe Boat. They only gift their attention to the men they deem worthy… normally those with either big trucks, big muscles or big bank accounts.

Listen up ladies! It doesn’t matter how sexy* a girl is, when she develops the mentality that you (a dude) owe her a drink, or dinner, or anything for that matter solely because you are the man and she is the woman, thus requiring you to treat her according to a certain set of rules… her rules… well… game over.

Relationships are give and take… or rather, they are give and give. Too often the givers get walked on, and the takers keep wondering why they end up alone.

Ladies, you’d be surprised how many guys would just melt in your hands if you simply said, “You always take care of me and pay for dinner. Tonight, it’s on me.”

If you pay close enough attention, it gets easy to recognize a giver from a taker, even after 1 or 2 dates.

My recommendation? Decide to be a giver. Don’t jump on the Skank-hoe boat. Be grateful and selfless in your relationships. Appreciate the things your significant other does for you…even if it’s routine. Put effort into love. Stop looking at it as how it can benefit you. In fact, do the opposite.

*I am not a huge fan of the word ‘sexy.’ I think it’s superficial and kind of demeaning… so normally when I use it, it’s in reference to someone who is only attractive until they open their mouth.

This post was going to summarize my feelings on this issue. I realized that it very quickly grew too long to be a singular post. Entitlement is now a multi-part series on this blog. More to come. Subscribe here.

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02 2010
  • Devil's advocate here. I am not arguing for gold-diggers who are out there to take advantage of the men they date or marry. They DO exist, and they do get all the dates, too, because they usually spend all their money and a fair ammount of their dad's money too on maintaining their wardrobes and fake lashes/tans/lips/hair/figure/personalities. Because they're worth it, and anyone who deserves a date with them better prove they know it. And some guys go for it: they're competitive enough that only the best will do for them, at whatever price. So they win their trophy, and everyone lives happily ever after, or at least until some other guy takes first place.

    *gag*

    That said, I have come to realize that relationships built on fairness in every quantifiable area can go sour quickly when life itself doesn't agree to play fair with them. Better for each person to give out of love, without strings attached, while paying attention to how the relationship makes them feel. And if you feel like you're being taken advantage of by the third date, then by all means, don't wait for the other to pick up their slack.
  • Jenay
    With much love, I say this: Stop dating the skank-hos and maybe they won't upset you so much. Ungrateful skanks are a very small percentage of the female population and yet, they seem to be the ones that the boys date (and subsequently complain about) the most.
  • Thanks for your comment! I should probably clarify. I don't date skanks. My
    goal was to point out that the attitude of entitlement is a terrible
    terrible cancer to any relationship. Men are in no way immune to it... as
    you will see in follow up posts. Love the feedback though, keep it coming. I
    want this blog to be something great for lots of people.
  • you have bought dinner for me twice... what are you saying...
  • Love is definitely something to be fought for. It is beautiful, it is pure. And in circumstances where it needs to be a battle, the two involved must be willing to fight for it. Then bringing both of them to a higher state of love and understanding. It leads them to stronger ties and unbreakable vows. True love will strive through dark, thick forests and land mined fields. It can conquer anything. Yet, the second one decides to fight for their own (or in your words be a "taker"), by themselves, and forget about the other…the clasped hands then break, never to be held together again. The giver is left putting forth effort to only get nowhere, and the taker is destroying everything and anything that may could be considered good. And the selfishness will never benefit a relationship. My philosophy, is that if you give 100% who you are to make your partner happy, and they put in 100% to make you happy...how could you not be happy. For your happiness is their happiness and visa versa. Seems simple enough. But yes, once one feels they DESERVE something, you better say goodbye!

    Love should be found together. Love should last together. If one fails to feel this then the love is betrayed. The love is gone. No one should fight for the lost one or one that doesn't give back. For it will only lead them to continue being alone and become the one who is really lost.
  • Nicely said Mike. You should guest post for me one of these days.
  • megangelic
    I think about this all the time. I can't even believe the number of times I've heard the phrase, "I just need a guy so I don't have to pay for it!" I learned pretty early on in my dating career that this was a stupid system - for a couple of reasons. 1) It's nice for people to do things for each other. It's not nice for one person to do everything for the other person. 2) There isn't always a guy to pay for it, and you shouldn't let you stop that from doing something. The expectation that there should always be a guy around to buy you dinner and take you to the movies leads to selfish relationships or a lot of evenings at home alone - both of which are rotten.
  • Mashka
    Dating or Mature Dating is a process or a way for you and your date to get along with one another this will determine if you are both enjoying each others party.
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