Unsolicited Dating Advice

Thanks to Jenn for submitting today’s Deal Breaker!

“I could never date a boy who was in Slytherin.”

Submit your Deal Breakers here!

It only took me like 2 weeks of writing this blog to get fired up enough to write up a rant on what is essentially my ultimate pet peeve.

Nothing will destroy a relationship faster than entitlement. It’s a cancer… an emotional cancer that eats away at the greatest thing the world has to offer.

Love.

Just thinking about it makes me want to punch a kitten! (I told you it was a pet peeve.)

The demon of entitlement rears its ugly head in relationships in many different ways…

Absence of Gratitude

Our culture has created a process for propagating relationships. This basics of the system are as follows:

• Boy asks girl on date.
• Boy takes girl on date.
• Repeat

This process continues until one party becomes disinterested or the happy couple decides to get married.

Since this cultural pattern is so common, it’s easy for women to become accustomed to all of the attention and free food from douche bag guys who just want to get in their pants. This is where the skank-hoe originated.  After enough male attention, some women forget their manners and develop an attitude of entitlement. They are drafted as crew members on the Skank-hoe Boat. They only gift their attention to the men they deem worthy… normally those with either big trucks, big muscles or big bank accounts.

Listen up ladies! It doesn’t matter how sexy* a girl is, when she develops the mentality that you (a dude) owe her a drink, or dinner, or anything for that matter solely because you are the man and she is the woman, thus requiring you to treat her according to a certain set of rules… her rules… well… game over.

Relationships are give and take… or rather, they are give and give. Too often the givers get walked on, and the takers keep wondering why they end up alone.

Ladies, you’d be surprised how many guys would just melt in your hands if you simply said, “You always take care of me and pay for dinner. Tonight, it’s on me.”

If you pay close enough attention, it gets easy to recognize a giver from a taker, even after 1 or 2 dates.

My recommendation? Decide to be a giver. Don’t jump on the Skank-hoe boat. Be grateful and selfless in your relationships. Appreciate the things your significant other does for you…even if it’s routine. Put effort into love. Stop looking at it as how it can benefit you. In fact, do the opposite.

*I am not a huge fan of the word ‘sexy.’ I think it’s superficial and kind of demeaning… so normally when I use it, it’s in reference to someone who is only attractive until they open their mouth.

This post was going to summarize my feelings on this issue. I realized that it very quickly grew too long to be a singular post. Entitlement is now a multi-part series on this blog. More to come. Subscribe here.

I could never date a girl who can’t make gourmet Ramen Noodels.

*Submit your deal breakers here!

Ladies, I know many of you have been wanting some tips regarding how to pick up on a dude without coming off as desperate or weird. Well, here’s some advice… kind of.

Despite what the experts say, spilling your drink a fella will not make him fall in love with you. I promise.

Normally when you ask someone what qualities they are looking for in a significant other, they create a fairly predictable list. They include the typical attributes like a sense of humor, attractiveness, intelligence, or being a die-hard fan of the Muppets. (Maybe that’s just me…)

Rarely, however, do you hear someone say, “Whoever I date has to be completely and utterly obsessed with me. I want them to be my #1 fan!”

Think about it, we’ve all been through it or at least watched it happen. You go out on a first date. There’s some real chemistry. You make out.

Suddenly you’re getting dozens of texts a day… nay, an hour! Your voicemail is full to capacity with messages from your new love interest wondering why you haven’t responded to every text, expressing concern about your relationship. They want to have plans every night, and be at your side every available minute.

Suddenly that ‘relationship’ you’d been yearning for for so long doesn’t seem so great anymore.

People don’t want to date a fan, they want to date someone they consider to be their equal.

Obsession isn’t love.

Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who refuses to have their own opinion? They agree with you on everything you say from politics and religion to celebrity gossip and even what to eat for dinner…. because, heaven forbid you disagree on something!

It’s exhausting.

Yet all too often, we fall into that trap. We fail express our true ideals and beliefs to the dreamy eyes across the table for fear of ruining a date. Then, 3 days… or sometimes 3 years down the road, we wonder why that happened to the love. The truth is, you’ve duped yourself into believing a lie. It was never there.

If the thing you like most about your significant other is that they like you, you might want to think twice about the relationship. Being loved by someone for exactly who you are is far more satisfying than just being in love with being in love.

So, when things start going well after 1 (or a few) dates, remember, be yourself and don’t obsess… because nobody wants to fall in love with a fan. (Except for the incredibly vain are self absorbed, and you’re not one of those, right?)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to list 3 red flags from this video… and then to thank your Lord and Savior with all the sincerity in your heart  that you are not (dating) one of these guys.

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Oh man, it totally sucks to be single on Valentines day, doesn’t it?

PSYCHE! That was totally a trick. It doesn’t suck.. and this is not a post where I supply you, the lonely reader, with a slew of sycophantic anti-love propaganda.

Wait, wait, wait! Before you get all angry with me for tricking you and leave my website, I would ask you that you finish reading this post. It may not change your life, but it might at least make you laugh a little, and give you a slightly brighter outlook on the upcoming weekend.

The world would have you believe that being single on Valentines Day is the worst thing ever. I mean, everybody is in love but you. Even the frumpy weird looking people with hygiene issues that live in various sections of the local Walmart have someone. You feel empty and alone, as if you just had a self esteem enema.

We’ve all been there… some of us are there now.

Sure, you may not have anyone to snog*, but let’s look on the bright side – at least you don’t have to endure with the Walk of Shame… or, even worse, you don’t need to endure that empty longing you get when you realize that your Valentines Day hookup was just a facade without any real substance. Realizing that it was all fake only magnifies the alone-ness of the season.

Sure, being single can suck. But, you don’t have to compound the misery with loneliness and shame.

So, rather than wallowing in self pity, why don’t you use your energies to put a smile someone elses face? Brighten someone’s day!  Pet a puppy! Run around your house naked! I promise it will make things better… maybe not immediately, but let’s be honest, the people we find most attractive  are not the Debbie Downer‘s of the world. They are the one’s who fun to be around. They don’t let crappy circumstances get them down. And you want to be attractive, don’t you?

*I’d snog you.